Resilience and triggers

I question why the utilisation of resilience is considered necessary, typical and an attribute in terms of our ability to weather storms of violence, abuse, neglect, and cruelty.  I would suggest that moving towards the prevention of such storms to be the actual necessity rather than encouraging and revering resilience.  Nevertheless, trauma does exist in its various forms, as does retraumatising events so while the prevention of storms may be a slow arduous endeavour, how can we best employ resilience to heal?

Throughout my mental health journey, I have encountered many triggers which have contributed to my experience of anxiety, panic, and fear.  These have included reading certain words, hearing certain lyrics, pictures, locations, people, thoughts, and sometimes no recognisable trigger at all.  I have noticed a dramatic reduction in the effect of these triggers as I have learned to self-regulate through several means. 

It is my belief that triggers occur to allow for an emotion to rise, enabling us to heal and grow.  To arrive on the other side of fear requires us to feel the fear then watch it dissipate and dissolve.  Of course, there are many techniques which assist in the dissolution.  For me it has included swimming, yoga, meditation, cooking, singing, writing, therapy, medication, and connection (among other activities).  Initially, I fought to avoid the trigger, attempting to stop the fear.  This method however only prolonged the anxiety.  We are presented with triggering stimuli often, so avoidance is near impossible.  A more practical solution within our power I believe, is to transform our reactions.  Simply (and not so simply) shift the energy within us.

Children are regularly classified as being very resilient.  I can only assume that it may be due to the hugeness of the world continuing to survive beyond their storms.  This is only an assumption and very simplistic view roughly based on object relations theory.  As we grow into adults our trust in the world may falter and masked anxieties from childhood appear through retraumatising events.  Again, just a theory.

So, I believe there are two choices when it comes to triggers.  Approach with fear or love.  When approached with fear, we blame the trigger, attempting to avoid or eliminate it.  In this scenario the energy does not shift, and the stimuli continues to create unwanted reactions.  When we choose love, we choose personal power.  We accept, feel, and witness the rise of the emotion then watch it dissolve and process with the assistance of chosen activities which do not harm others.

These are my reflections about resilience and triggers, which have been influenced by my mistakes and my choices chosen through fear or love.  I have learned that great self-belief and power can be born once we accept responsibility and accountability for processing and healing our energies.

Thanks for reading :) xo